Family Poems

I was going through some piles of stuff and found two poems I wrote about my grandparents. These were written in February 2016, while visiting my grandmother. My grandfather had Alzheimer and died February 2010. My grandmother had Dementia and died May 2018. These are unedited.


Reunion

The night they come
The day they left
A joke was said
To have liked best.
If truth be known
And it must be said
The best of all
Were in between.
Not for the trips, or excited praise
Not for cookies, dogs, or lemonades
Simply being, that’s what you taught

It was not simple,
I can attest
Now that my own
Prevent my rest
For what you’ve done,
We’re grateful still.
Worth much more than Franklin’s bill.


Legacy

Thinking back all the years
The gifts you gave,
Innumerable.
I cannot believe
To see you now.
Memories flood my mind,
And shame to see you swept away
I’ll not sit by and watch you fall.

Trees and seas, Monopolies
Cookies, bikes, garage’s fights
Love and care. Beaver, where?
This is not your legacy
So much more, you can not see.

Connections built on solid ground
Visiting, love, friendships abound
In none have seen such might
As the family you built those nights
From across the world
We’ve come to be
You taught respect
And true family

So grateful I have come to know
My Bubby, whom I call my own

Meltdowns

All the autistic people in my family were overstimulated at the same time today. One of them shut down, one was about 80/20 meltdown/tantrum, and then there was me, expending all my energy to not shut down or meltdown, while helping them through their stuff and simultaneously trying to keep the other two children calm and non-escalatory. It was very frustrating, and I am now very tired. I was tired before, as we have begun to work on waking up and having everyone ready as per our school schedule.

This whole event, and some of the things said by some family members makes me realize that I am the only one who knows what a meltdown is. Even though I am well aware of what it is, both because of watching my son, and having them myself, I still struggle to identify a meltdown vs a tantrum sometimes, so I can understand it being difficult for my husband and the other children. What this tells me is that my hopes for a therapy-free school year are for naught. Clearly as a family we all need to work on how we are interacting with my son specifically regarding how his autism presents.